How to Ride
If you go to any Trolley station, you'll see this sign posted that says something like "Get going on the Trolley! Here's how easy it is!" And then there's a three-column list of tiny type that tells you all the various and sundry tickets you can buy, and the ticket upgrade policy, and what to do if you're wearing shorts, and if Venus is waxing gibbous.
But, in truth, it really isn't that hard. Here's the quick way:
Get to the station five minutes before your train arrives. Sometimes this is difficult to predict. (All right, "most of the time.") But the rule of thumb is this: give yourself enough time to buy a ticket. If you miss the train, don't run after it and risk getting hurt: the driver won't stop. Trust me. MTS offers some basic guidelines about parking, if you have to drive to a trolley station.
Buy a ticket. Tickets will take you a certain number of stations. If you're in any doubt, buy a $5 day-tripper, and you can ride any Trolley or Bus all day long. (It also gives you a discount on Coaster tickets, too.)
Wait for the train. This can be trying. You can look up Rider Alerts on your mobile phone while you're waiting, though. If you use a wheelchair, wait near the front of the platform where the big blue symbol is painted. This is where the train's wheelchair lift will pick you up.
Get on. On older trains, you'll have to step up into the car. On the newest S70 trains, the floors are level with the platform at every door. If you have a bike, board at the last door of the car.
Sit down. Or not. Stand, sit, whatever. Just hang on to a rail or something. And nobody thinks you're being cute if you scream when the train lurches ahead.
Keep your drink covered and your music to yourself. 'Nuff said.
Get off. Take care, as sometimes the lower, movable step on older trains is a bit shaky, or doesn't deploy at all.
Stand clear. The train will leave quickly, so don't stick around.
Tickets
The truth about tickets is this: you might not need one. Transit police randomly check for tickets every day, so it's impossible to say for sure: but the fact is that every rider is not checked for a ticket on every journey. (It's a $25 citation if you get caught without one.) I ride the trolley to and from work almost every day (say four-and-a-half days a week) and I get my ticket checked maybe thrice monthly. But we, of course, would recommend you buy a ticket just in case.
Random Tips and Etiquette
During summertime on the Trolley, you can open locked windows by sliding a credit card (or similar rigid, flat object) along the seam between the window lock and the sill. This can make you a hero; especially in hot, smelly trains.
As hard as it is to believe, it does rain here. And when it rains, the trains leak. Older, U2-style trains tend to leak the worst. Be careful when resting your arm on a windowsill, or standing in the articulation in the middle of the car: These tend to be the wettest areas. And, of course, take care when boarding and de-boarding, because the steps and the platform are probably slippery.
You might notice (on older U2-series trains) metal boxes under the seats with labels on them:
Sand is used as an emergency brake. The driver can pour sand in front of the wheels and stop the train with uncomfortable speed.
Radios are hand-held radios that can be distributed in an emergency.
Simatic and Control contain the trolley's on-board computer (which label depends on the model of train).
There is an etiquette to sitting on trains with facing seats.
If you're first in the cluster of seats, sit next to the window, facing either direction.
If you're the second, sit diagonally from the first person to allow legroom.
If you're the third, sit next to the first person, on the aisle. Second person: scoot in next to the window.
If you're the last person, take the only remaining seat.
If you're standing up, keep your knees bent. It's easier to deal with the irregular motion of the train car.
Watch to see where the platform is. The doors will not open unless there is a platform there.
Don't jump or climb over the couplers between train cars. You won't make it.
And for crying out loud, give up your seat for older folks, or for people that look like they could use a seat more than you. Be considerate, be patient, and be kind.